I’m sick. I have been for the past couple of days. Maybe my body is adjusting itself to this place. I have this never-ending headache that does not cease even when I fall asleep. And I’m beginning to lose my voice.

About a week ago, I got a haircut. It was about waist-length, but now it’s just below the shoulder. I miss it a lot…I felt really bad when they cut it off. But it was necessary; hair gets more damaged the longer it grows. When the hairdresser was snipping inches off, I felt really bad. Not that I have any problem with my hair now, it just has a different feel to it, something I’m not used to.

Today, I heard something that made me kinda angry. A couple of women I know were having this conversation right in front of me. They were saying that this certain girl, let’s call her Rachel, ought not to study, let’s say Physics, in University. They were saying that “physics” is a very tough subject and is not meant for GIRLS to study, even though they know Rachel has had a passion for the subject forever…and she feels that is the only thing she was meant to do. They were saying that Rachel should just have taken business administration graduated in 3 yrs, instead of 5, because long-term education is meant for boys not girls. They were saying by now, Rachel should have graduated and gotten married. And then they went on to discuss the rest of Rachel’s life, how she should get a job as an accountant/banker/clerk (even though Rachel is great at “physics”), and pretty soon she’ll get pregnant, and give up her career, and spend the rest of her life slaving away after her future children and future husband…

I couldn’t believe people could be so sexist, especially two women, I mean if a male chauvinist were to say this things it would at least be understandable, even though he’s point of view is wrong, he does not know what it is like to be a woman. But for two women to be discussing this was unbelievable…So I couldn’t just shut up and listen to their conversation. I told them that if Rachel wants to study, then she should study physics. I mean why shouldn’t she?? She’s good at it. And they shouldn’t be able to stop her. Why should only boys be allowed to do whatever they want. This is the fucking 21st Century, not the Victorian era, and no more do women walk around in bonnets wearing fluffy dresses addressing men as “master”. Those fucked up times are long behind us, and girls will do whatever they want to…At this the women told me, that I don’t understand anything. They should leave it to the grown-ups because I’m a “child”, and that the husband pays the bills at the end of the month, so the only things ladies should learn are household chores and how to raise children.

I felt inclined to argue with them further, but I resisted, because there is no point in talking to people who have no common sense. I shouldn’t expect people who spent all their lives cooking, cleaning, feeding children, gossiping and watching television, to understand what having a career and standing on your own two feet means. Whatever, I will stop thinking about this stupid subject because it’s giving me more of a headache and take my Panadol, and try to sleep.

Thanks to Sharon for this quote - There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~Madeleine K. Albright

Sam

Ok it's a long time since my last post. Thank God, I've finally started my driving lessons....was getting really impatient. Ok here's what a thought. An accelerator, brake, steering wheel. Can't be much harder than driving a Go-Kart at Escape theme park, right? Wrong. And it's even harder to drive stick shift. Driving on the street is no piece of cake because it involves real vehicles and real people walking around on the road. And you can't imagine how reckless some people are. Just walk across the road like they're walking their dog in a park...

On the first day, I pressed my foot on the accelerator and the car started moving. I was like, "Holy shit!!" And quickly pressed the brake...It is kinda scary at first. But as you get used to it gets simpler. Yesterday, I finally got a chance to drive around the streets. It was soooo much fun!!! I controlled all of the footing and at first, my instructor did the steering. But as I got the hang of it, I started to steer. Ok I admit I was driving at 8km per hour..and cars behind me kept honking at me to move faster..But as a beginner driver, you get that sense of achievement. So as I was driving in circles around the same neighbourhood, I heard this girl make a comment as I was passing by...and I was really amused. She was like, Look a woman is driving that car!! So i guess not many woman around here drive, so must be an unusual scene. Had a couple of problems along the way too..The clutch is sooo difficult to control. Let go of it twice, and the car's engine stopped in the middle of the road. Had to restart the car....

Last Saturday, I visited the school where I went to Nursery and Playgroup. There was this special event. So as I was entering the school, the watchman recognised me. He was like, "Purnee, is tht u?" I'm surprised they still remember me from 1997...Well, my mom used to teach nursery back then and she was my class teacher. If she praised or patted someone's else head, I would irritate her and start pulling her clothes. Then there was a time, I fell off the metal swing and injured my.....er,head. That might explain why I'm crazy sometimes. And when I celebrated my birthday, I burnt my finger trying to light the match...and a lot of other crazy stuff...so it's not surprising tht the maids and teachers remember me too...

So today, i'm at home all day, really bored...Was supposed to go out and get a haircut, but I'm lazy to. There's this thing that I have, that my bro really wants. So I decided to hide it(in my pocket), and have some fun with that.....so this is the conversation.

Bro: I know you have it. Hand it over!!
Me: I don't have it.
Bro: But you hid it...
Me: Yeah, I did.
Bro: So where is it?
Me: If I wanted to tell you, I wouldn't hide it...
Bro: Give me a clue as to where it is...
Me: No.
Bro: Pleasseeeeeeeeeeee...
Me: Ok. Think outside the box.
Bro: Which box?
Me: Metaphorical box.
Bro: What is metaphorical?
Me: Check a dictionary.
Bro: I don't have a dictionary..Another clue!!!
Me: Think of smwhere, furthest away from ur imagination. Smwhere you would never, ever, ever expect it to be...Smwhere concealed by mere sight...
Bro: Is the box like a shoebox? or a suitcase? or a cupcoard?
Me: No.
Bro: Ok, is it in ur pocket?
Me: (laughs) oh you'd think that wouldn't u? (trick question)

So my brother searched for it everywhere, inside toiletbowls, in the balcony, outside the house, under the bed etc...
When he gave up, I took it from my pocket and gave it to him...That somehow makes me feel evil....muhahahahahahaahahahahaha
Whateva....
Sam =)

Last night was really stuffy at home.So my parents, aunt, cousin and me spent half the night on the rooftop. So we took a few newspaper spread it out on the rooftop floor and had a "midnight" picnic.. It was really bright, there was a full moon, i think...and the wind was blowing u cud see the clouds shifting in front of the full moon..and it was amazing...And the airport is really close to here so everytime a plane flies by, it looked as if a giant torchlight was flying across the sky above our heads...

And my dad started to tell us stories about the past...this happened arnd 1983-1984.Around the time my dad was taking his masters exam in Uni. In those days, there was political unrest in Bangladesh. And University students were very involved in the events of the political parties. It was the night before my dad's masters final exam. Talk about bad luck.It was the last exam of their student lives. And needless to say, they were very excited to go and find new jobs. The night before, there was a huge peaceful procession consisting of University students on the streets demanding democracy in the country. The police started to gather arnd the area. Even though none of the students were armed, they started to shoot and managed to kill the student leader of the procession. The next day, the University closed down indefinitely and all the exams were postponed...It reopened a mth later and the exams were to take place a mth after tht...

This time the night b4 my dad's final exams, there was some argument between an Uni student and a corrupt police officer targeting for bribes...what started as an argument soon turned into a brawl and all hell broke loose. More students and police officers joined in the fight. The police started using arms and tear gas. My dad says they were in the Uni hall when smne came to tell them of the brawl happening on the streets and they spent the entire night lugging dead and injured, battered and bloody bodies to the hospital...tht night all public transportation was free. No took any money, on account of saving the lives of the young students.

The Uni closed down yet again. The exam was then scheduled 3 mths later. The night b4 the exam,again, there were 300 students in the TV hall of the Uni, watching an evening TV series. This time the whole ceiling collapsed onto them. About 25 ppl died and about a 100 were injured. The whole night my dad and his frens dug out thru the rubble trying to find survivors and then transported them to the hospital.That night everyone in the Uni went ahead to donate their blood. So much so that the doctors had to turn away ppl, there was already an excess.

And this is how his exams were delayed for 7 mths.I'm soo glad such things don't happen to us.

Sam :)

I've wanted to put up a blog for a long long long long time....but was totally clueless abt the blogskins, html coding and whatnot,totally not a computer person...so it's finally done..phew!

Today the weather is sickening...seriously. I don't think it could be much worse...There's scorching heat and almost 100% humidity. Amidst the disgusting weather, there's a power shortage problem. Totally ruined my whole tub of Ice cream in the fridge. I hate this goddamned place, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual...Oh...I've adopted Ryan as my "adopted" mother...maybe its cuz of his motherly instincts.aka. he buys food for me and brings me evrywhere since i'm not familiar with this place...or cuz he insists that he's a male ballerina and goes arnd dancing arnd the house....

Samia Ferdous
18
Queen of Secrets =)

The Riches
Freedom
Peace of mind :D